Need money? Sue Oprah.

Even Oprah is a victim.

 Last month, poet Damon Goffe filed a $1.2 trillion lawsuit against Oprah Winfrey in Chicago, claiming that the talk show giant lifted his Internet-published “A Tome of Poetry” and republished it under the title “Pieces of My Soul.” 

 Goffe claimed that Winfrey and Harpo, Inc. sold 650 million copies of it at $20 each, totaling $1.2 trillion.  

That’s $1,200,000,000,000.00 for a web-based poem. 

Goffe’s ego and sense of self-worth, however, is not undervalued.  650 million copies of his poetry puts him in fierce competition with the Bible and the Koran as the most widely sold piece of literature of all time.  That’s quite impressive. 

I was tempted to buy a copy myself, but conveniently, Goffe’s “A Tome of Poetry,” and the website “Pieces of My Soul,” are no longer live on the Internet.  I don’t know how I’ve managed- albeit, unintentionally - to catch more tidbits of Stephanie Meyer’s 143-million selling Twilight series than Mr. Goffe’s mastery of the keyboard. 

Goffe’s lawsuit was ultimately dismissed, not because it appeared to be completely nonsensical, but because of one small oversight: Goffe never registered the copyright on his now-defunct poetry site. 

It is unclear how much in court-related fees Oprah had to shell out to defend herself against this nonsense, and this is not the first time that Goffe has filed suit against her.  Last year, Goffe claimed that Winfrey infringed upon unspecified personal property. 

You can read Goffe’s latest complaint here.  What's scary is that if Goffe continues with his annual lawsuit-against-Oprah regime, he may eventually be able to snag a few million dollars- not a bad side job if cranking out $20 poems becomes too cumbersome.